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Once upon a time, a Redditor threaded a simple query, "What is the worst thing you've ever seen happen at a wedding?" In less than a week, over 17,000 users had commented, sharing their first-hand accounts-some awkward, some gross, and some so horrific, they make the Red Wedding seem like a merry cakewalk. Okay, maybe not that bad, but if you can make it through all 15 stories below without cringing and covering your eyes, then a career in crisis management could be in your future.
1. Wrestle Mania
"The sister of the bride who wasn't invited showed up drunk and got in a fight with the bride until the father of the bride broke it up by putting the sister in a chokehold and dragging her out of the venue. The bride was surprisingly fine afterward. Source: I'm a wedding caterer."
2. Last (Booty) Call
"I worked weddings for a living and once saw the best man get loaded, give a speech, and profess his love of the bride and how they had slept together two nights before. Open bar: 1, best man: 0."
3. Love Emergency
"The bride fainted and hit her head hard enough to go to the hospital in an ambulance. No refunds, so they amazingly still had the reception. Pretty subdued. We had a few drinks and just left."
4. Hopelessly Promoted to You
"My mother-in-law handed out an EP of my now sister-in-law to as many guests as she could and threw a fit in the middle of the dance floor later that night because I didn't let her daughter sing with the band or karaoke. Her exact words were, 'How dare you make today all about you?' It was MY wedding day."
5. Keep Calm and Party On
"Bride never showed up. My cousin was the groom and had about 500 people in attendance. He got on the mic and said there's no bride, so we had the party anyway. He married someone else two years later."
6. Biting Words
"Bride's stepmother and mother got into a fight. Stepmother bit the mother. The wedding went to a screeching halt."
"There was like an 8-year-old boy who had loads of confetti in his hand, so I didn't think much of it. Turns out he thought it was sugar paper and ate all of it. He then proceeded to projectile vomit everywhere through the middle of the ceremony. Was one of the funniest and most disgusting moments of my life."
8. What a Catch
"For the bouquet toss, a middle-aged guy forced his middle-aged girlfriend out onto the floor, then stood by her so she couldn't leave. The bouquet was caught by an excited little girl. The guy proceeded to yank the bouquet out of the little girl's hands, gave it to his middle-aged girlfriend, then ran off the floor cheering loudly to high-five one of his buddies. The little girl ran away crying."
9. Who's Got Your Back?
"The groom got so drunk that he straight disappeared from the reception.вЂ¦ My husband finally found him in the parking lot basically face down on his lips. He helped him back into the wedding, which was basically the most awkward walk of shame past the bride's glaring dad and grandfather. The groom was too drunk to drive. The bride's grandfather drove them to the hotel suite (which was a 30-minute drive). My friend (the bride) later told me that when they got into the room, her new husband passed out cold on the bed and she had to wander the halls in her wedding dress looking for someone to unhook her dress for her so she could get out of it."
10. The Greatest Sister-in-Law of All Time
"After arriving 45 minutes after the ceremony was to begin, during the ring exchange, the groom gets this blank look and says he didn't know he was supposed to buy her another ring. The sister-in-law slipped off her wedding band and handed it off to the preacher."
"Friends' wedding a few years ago. The DJ had screens up for slideshows of the bride and groom that were played during some of the songs. Fine. DJ's screensaver was Girls Gone Wild style videos. We saw lots of t*** on those screens."
12. The Off-White Runner
"Brother and sister-in-law thought it would be fun to have their dogs walk down the aisle after their flower girl spread the flower petals. The dog's thought midway down the aisle was this was the perfect place for a sh*tting photo-op on a white runner."
13. I Chose You
"Just prior to my sister's wedding ceremony beginning, as everyone was getting in place and last-minute things were being done in this big, old Catholic church, my father noticed a woman with a confused look at the back of the church and approached her, asking if she needed anything. She informed him she was the BRIDE, then opened a beat-up suitcase she had, which contained something resembling a wedding-type dress. My father, suspecting she had some mental health issues, played along, suggesting that she may be in the wrong church. When that didn't work, he slipped off and called the police. In the meantime, the lady walked up to my soon to be brother-in-law and said, 'You aren't going to leave me this time.' When the police pulled up to the church, the lady spotted them and made a quick exit. Turns out she had a habit of pulling the stunt. My brother-in-law still occasionally reminds my sister that he had a choice on their wedding day but still chose her."
14. Falling in Love
"My husband's brother had a seaside wedding. Our almost 2-year-old was the ring bearer. He passed off the rings to the best man (Dad), then toddled awayвЂ¦ off the cliff. It was probably a 60-80-foot drop to the beach below, but he luckily got caught up in the bushes, and my husband snatched him up. He was buckled into his stroller after that, kamikaze kid."
15. Red Cheeks
"I was an attendant at my best friend's wedding. Her father walked her down the aisle, and while he was not visibly drunk, he had a hard time walking behind her to sit in the pew. He stepped on her dress, ripping it from her back down to her a** (her thong was red). They had to stop the wedding so that she could find safety pins."